Death is the middle (not the end)
by Charon MacDonald
Part I
ÒAnd thatÕs Melissa.Ó Eric pointed at the goth girl sitting
high above them, on the fire escape attached to the warehouse.
ÒRavenÕs Shadow.Ó The goth said with a flat and yet
irritable tone.
ÒMelissa.Ó Eric repeated without a pause. ÒAnd youÕre...?Ó
ÒGwendolyn.Ó The young brunette was dazed. It showed in her eyes and her
voice. ÒGwen or Wendy to my
friends.Ó
The goth smiled and leaned
forward, hands clasped between her knees.
ÒWendy, welcome to the Neverland.Ó
Ò...wh...what?Ó
ÒYou see that ambulance out
there?Ó Eric pointed toward the
mouth of the alley, where the nose of an ambulance could be seen, along with
flashing lights. Music drifted to
where the three ravers sat and stood from the doors around the side of the
building.
Ò...yeah...Ó She looked that way, and then back at
the dark-haired man. Ò...did
someone get hurt?Ó There had been
a lot of shoving in the mosh pit.
So, sheÕd... come out here?
She didnÕt remember coming out here- all she remembered was the room
spinning, and all the lights flashing, and the bodies pressing against her, and
stumbling a little, her heart pounding...
Ò...someone died.Ó The
goth announced, crouching even further forward, a ghoulish glee in her eyes.
The girl swallowed. She knew she should never have given in
and come to this rave.
Ò...thatÕs...awful.Ó
The man licked his lips
nervously, and then with a hissing intake of air, gritted his teeth. Finally, he said Ò...that someone was
you.Ó
Ò...wh...what?Ó Gwen repeated. ÒBut IÕm...Ó
ÒDead.Ó The girl on the fire escape
intoned. ÒThatÕs not your real
body. ThatÕs just who you were at
the moment you died. You should
have dressed better.Ó
ÒThese are my good clothes.Ó
Gwen protested, looking up at her. GwenÕs cheeks flushed with heat.
ÒExactly.Ó The goth was dressed all in lace and
dark clothes. Gwen had to admit
the goth belonged at a place like this. And she realized that she, herself,
definitely didnÕt.
ÒIÕm... going home now. IÕm going to find my friends and get
out of here.Ó
The goth smiled a wicked
little smile. ÒWant to bet on how
far sheÕll get?Ó
Eric shook his head. ÒMelissa, sometimes you disgust
me. Gwendolyn, IÕm sorry, but
thereÕs no going home for you. No
talking to your friends, either.
Not... right now, anyway.
YouÕve got an appointment.Ó
She started backing away
from the two ravers. ÒNo way. This isnÕt real. I donÕt know what was in that pill,
but-Ò
ÒThatÕs why you shouldnÕt
have taken it.Ó Eric said
quietly. His eyes showed a
definite hurt, a sadness for her, and a finality that scared her.
ÒDid...Ó
ÒThatÕs what killed
you. The Ex you thought you took
was laced with something else.Ó Eric answered her question before she could ask
it. He had experience at knowing
what the dead were going to say.
ÒWhat?Ó Her voice was weak, but steadier than
it had been a minute before.
ÒDonÕt know. Does it matter?Ó Melissa, ÔRavenÕs ShadowÕ smiled down
on her, a cruel smile. ÒYou had
the night of your life. The last night of your life. Now, you have to come with us. You get to take one last look at yourself, and the people
around you, and then we have to move on.Ó
ÒMove on?Ó Her frantic eyes shot from Eric to
Melissa. ÒYou mean-Ò
ÒNo,Ó Eric sighed, ÒsheÕs being
dramatic. Just move on to the
appointment, and find out what youÕre going to be now.Ó
ÒI donÕt-Ò
ÒItÕs simple.Ó Melissa stood up and dropped off the
fire escape, landing in a flurry of skirts, then rose to her feet. Gwendolyn looked up- that was...
fifteen or twenty feet... then back down to the smirk on the gothÕs face.
ÒSo was that.Ó
Melissa glanced up at where sheÕd fallen from and then leveled her gaze
on the first-nighter. ÒYouÕre
dead. But you were young- so
youÕve got a pretty good chance of being something important. Which is why weÕre here. Hoping to cash in on a little fortune
of our own...Ó She grinned, and
approached the shaken teen. ÒEvery
life has potential. The less you
did with it, the more you have left waiting for you now. But your persona also gives you
power. The stronger your
self-image, the more power you can channel... You were young, and that gives you power, but youÕre weak and thatÕs going to take it away!Ó
ÒI donÕt understand...Ó The brunette tried to back away from
the girl, but in a blink, moving faster than Gwendolyn could see, Melissa
appeared in front of her, grabbing the recently-dead girlÕs wrist, and tugging
on it with bone-wrenching force.
ÒI was waiting for death.
I knew what was going to happen, so I did nothing with my life. And as soon as I knew I was at the peak
of my beauty, of everything, I
stepped in front of a bus. In full
view of my entire high school. I
even waved goodbye.Ó
ÒThatÕs awful!Ó Gwen tried to pull her hand away, but nothing
happened. The girlÕs fingers were
as hard as stone, and the gothÕs arm didnÕt budge any more than a statueÕs
would have.
ÒNo, it was wonderful.Ó The gothÕs eyes seemed to glaze over
with rapture. ÒAll the screams,
the cries, the shocked looks, and that bitch of a bus driver. I swear she smiled...Ó
The goth smiled, and let
GwenÕs wrist go with one final painful squeeze.
ÒI have a lot of power.
My parents always said IÕd never amount to anything. That I was wasting my life. But I wasnÕt wasting it. I was conserving it. For
here, and now.Ó
Eric stepped in, his eyes
plainly asking Melissa to back off.
She acquiesced and turned away from them, heading to the mouth of the
alley.
ÒSheÕs... crazy.Ó
ÒNo, she was smart. She chose this world instead of life,
and she did it in just the right way.
ThereÕs not many in this city that can stand up to her.Ó He shook his head. ÒEven if IÕd known... if IÕd had a
choice, I wouldnÕt have chosen this.
I wouldÕve lived my life... we really have to go.Ó
ÒI...I have to?Ó Gwen held
her wrist- it felt broken. ÒWait,
if IÕm dead, how can I feel pain?
YouÕre lying to me! IÕm not
dead, IÕm not!Ó
Melissa was instantly
there. The gothÕs slap knocked the
dead teen against the wall. It
felt like being hit by that bus.
GwenÕs head bounced off the wall of the warehouse and she fell to her
knees, crying.
ÒYou can still be hurt. You can still hurt others. You can even hurt the living, or kill them. But be careful about that. Only kill someone you really like...
and who really likes you.Ó
ÒI donÕt-Ò
ÒWill you stop saying
that? Of course you donÕt understand. I was the only one that did! YouÕre lucky IÕm
here now, not that IÕm taking an interest in you. I just like raves.
If IÕd known you were here for the first time, and that you were such a
whiny self-absorbed airhead-Ò
ÒMelissa!Ó Eric stepped between them, his back to
Gwendolyn. ÒSheÕll know it all
soon enough. She...Ó
ÔSheÕ was running, away from
both of them, out the mouth of the alley, into the crowd- who parted for her as
she ran through them- and then into a circle of empty space where two
paramedics were...
ThatÕs... th...thatÕs
me...
Gwen looked down at herself,
eyes bloodshot, lips a pallid blue, her dress torn in the front, and two burn marks
on her chest. The paramedics were
putting away a defibrillator unit.
She recognized it from ER.
I never knew it burned
people...
Eric took her arm,
gently. ÒYou should look at your
friends, too.Ó
Melissa stood just a little
past him, arms crossed, and angry.
She turned away when GwenÕs eyes fell on her. ÒHe said your friends.Ó
Eric pointed across the
circle- and Gwen saw her friends, the five of them, the three boys and two
girls sheÕd come to the party with.
The ones whoÕd opened the bag of ecstasy and pressured her into taking
one of the pills. Amelia, her best
friend, struggling against JohnÕs arms, trying to get to Gwen... to her body,
lying cold and still on the sidewalk.
Steven hugging Casey tight to his chest, his arms wrapped around her,
looking out over her shoulder and keeping her head turned away. And Kyle, her ex-boyfriend, who she was
still friends with...
...had still been friends
with...
...jaw clenched, lips
pressed into a tight line, hands balled into fists.
Ò...why arenÕt they
dead?Ó Her mind was whirling. She didnÕt know why she thought
anything that she did- the thoughts she had came chaotically, and didnÕt follow
what she thought someone would have thought if theyÉ were dead.
Eric winced, and
shrugged. ÒMaybe only your pill
had something dangerous in it.
Maybe theirs were laced a little less. Maybe you had a bad heart or an allergy. I donÕt know. How do you feel about them?Ó
She looked at him with a
confused gaze in her pretty brown eyes.
ÒI... theyÕre my friends.
IÕm glad theyÕre not dead.Ó
Gwen swallowed. ÒHow should I feel?Ó
ÒThatÕs up to you.Ó Eric looked at her body, then over at
her friends. ÒAngry, that they did
this to you. Relieved that they
didnÕt follow you. Sad that
theyÕve lost you... IÕve seen it all.Ó Yeah, pretty much.
Gwen swallowed and turned to
fully look at him. She could see
her body out of the corner of her eye and turned further away- trying to see
him and only him, and ignore the crowd.
And the reason the crowd was here.
ÒI am angry. IÕm angry that I died!Ó
ÒGood.Ó Melissa appeared next to her, in that
faster-than-sight way she had of moving.
ÒMaybe once this appointmentÕs over, we can find out who you should be
angry towards.Ó
Eric nodded in
agreement. ÒCome on. YouÕve had your requisite last
look. LetÕs go.Ó
She felt numb, and didnÕt
fight, as they led her away down an alley which seemed to stretch away from the
noise, the light, the crowd, and the paramedics loading her onto a stretcher-
-when she was right here,
not there.
Then she wasnÕt anywhere as the alley became a hole into nothing and her
world went dark.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Part II
It felt like floating and
falling and flying and sinking all at the same time.
ÒTransition. One of EricÕs powers.Ó Melissa... RavenÕs Shadow... sounded
jealous. ÒLucky bastard.Ó
ÒOne of... his powers?Ó She couldnÕt see anything but them, and
couldnÕt feel anything but their hands upon her, and the feeling of falling or
flying through an endless chill.
ÒOh, god-damnit, you sound
like every other stupid burb thatÕs ever died before they graduated high
school. DonÕt repeat everything I
say. YouÕve got to be faster on
the draw from now on.Ó
ÒIÕm sorry!Ó Gwen
shouted at the goth- ÒI just died!Ó
MelissaÕs black-painted lips
curved into a smile. ÒThatÕs
better. For right now, get angry
and stay angry. ItÕll help you
deal with others. You are so lucky
that Eric and I were there.
Otherwise, youÕd be food right now.Ó
ÒFood?Ó Gwen shrunk away from the girlÕs angry
eyes. ÒIÕm sorry,Ó she repeated,
ÒI donÕt understand any of this.
YouÕve had-Ò She stopped,
suddenly aware that she didnÕt know how old the other girl was, how long sheÕd
had to get used to this. Melissa
didnÕt look old, didnÕt sound old, but- Òhow old are you?Ó
ÒTwenty-two. I was fifteen when I died. Seven years on this side of the
veil...Ó The girl seemed to get
angry in a heartbeat... no, I donÕt have a heartbeat...in a second, then... and she
seemed to recover just as quick.
I donÕt have a heartbeat. Her
hand began to unwrap from EricÕs wrist.
Then her bones were grating togther, and her hand wouldnÕt budge. ÒOw, youÕre hurting me!Ó
ÒDonÕt EVER let go during
Transition. EVER!Ó Melissa
was angry again.
Gwen waited for the other
girl to recover, and tried not to cry from pain, shock, fear, and humiliation.
ÒDonÕt let go.Ó Melissa repeated, and kept her hand on
GwenÕs wrist. ÒI wonÕt.Ó Gwen replied. MelissaÕs hand didnÕt move. ÒI wonÕt!Ó Gwen repeated, more forcefully. Melissa smirked, and still didnÕt move
her hand. ÒItÕs not an
escape. ItÕs a torture. An endless torture... and thatÕs if
youÕre lucky.Ó
ÒIf youÕre- well, IÕm sorry
I keep repeating what you say but I
still donÕt know whatÕs going on and IÕm still trying to accept that IÕm dead
and you keep saying things that I donÕt know anything about!Ó
ÒSheÕs right, Melissa. Please, just let her rest for now. WeÕll clue her in later.Ó
ÒRavenÕs shadow.Ó Melissa repeated with a snarl, and
finally let go of GwenÕs wrist.
Gwen wanted to rub her
wrist, but didnÕt dare try to remove her other hand to do it...
The darkness faded, and they
were pulled or thrown into the light.
Not much light, it was just another empty alley, but the walls of the
buildings were totally different and marked up with gang tags. She didnÕt know which gangs, sheÕd
never been in that part of town, but she recognized that they were tags and not
just graffiti.
Eric looked around. ÒNow, why the hell are we here?Ó
Melissa let go of him and
looked around as well. ÒOh,
cool. Maybe we have some business
to take care of first...Ó She
grinned and flexed her fingers.
ÒEric?Ó Gwendolyn clung to his arm. ÒWhatÕs going on? You said we had an appointment. Why are we here? This isnÕt it, is it?Ó
He shook his head. She was very frightened. Melissa looked like she was ready to
get into a fight, and EricÕs eyes were roaming all over the place- to every
door, window, and exit he could see.
She moved closer to
him. Why are they not sure
where they are? What are they
getting ready for? What is Eric
looking for? What does Melissa
think sheÕs going to fight?
ÒCan... we be hurt...
more? Killed?Ó
ÒIn a way, yeah.Ó Eric didnÕt elaborate. Melissa wasnÕt paying any attention to
her anymore. Gwen wanted to cry-
to sit down somewhere and cry. She
was dead, at only seventeen, a junior in high school, and without a current
boyfriend, and she hadnÕt even figured out what she was going to do with her
life yet. SheÕd never made the
cheerleaders, hadnÕt gotten involved in the science, math, or debate clubs,
wasnÕt on any student body councils, or... anything. I
havenÕt done anything with
my life.
Melissa had said that gave
people power, but she didnÕt feel powerful at all. Gwen felt scared, and weak, and helpless, and afraid, and
overwhelmed, and so many other things she couldnÕt even place or name them all.
The strongest feeling was
that they were in the wrong place- and the right way was this way.
ÒThis way...Ó She started
walking away from Eric, following a pull that seemed right.
He grabbed her arm. ÒAre you serious?Ó He glanced at Melissa, who was watching
her with wide eyes and a growing smile.
ÒYou can feel something
already?Ó Melissa straightened up
and waved a hand in the air. ÒLead
on!Ó
Eric walked next to her, his
hand on her arm, protectively, ready to close his fingers tighter if he needed
to. Gwen walked along the
sidewalk, watching the people in the street. Hispanics, mostly.
This had to be the puerto rican section of the city, one of the slums. She knew where this part of town
was. It was pretty far from the
club, and her house. We... went
two miles in a minute?
Her breath caught in her
throat. No, it wasnÕt her breath,
it was something else. She hadnÕt
been breathing for a while now.
ÒDo... we breathe?Ó
ÒIf you want to, or if you
donÕt think about it, you might breathe.
You donÕt have to. After a
while, you just... donÕt. ThatÕs
one way to tell the really old ones.
If they donÕt breathe at all, ever, while youÕre watching them. They might be old.Ó
ÒHow...old?Ó
ÒHundreds of years.Ó Melissa replied, with an awed tone in
her voice. ÒI wish IÕd been born
before Christ... then IÕd be a god
now.Ó
Eric chuckled. ÒYou wouldnÕt have known to kill
yourself. Or how to deal with
this, afterwards.Ó
ÒI might have.Ó She said, defensively, and turned to
Gwen. ÒCome on, point it out.Ó
ÒPoint what out?Ó Gwen asked. She felt something.
Something she couldnÕt explain, but it was up- in the building they were
standing in front of.
ÒPoint out your
killer.Ó MelissaÕs eyes all but
gleamed.
She shrunk away from the
thrilled goth and clung once again to Eric. ÒMy killer? I
donÕt know who-Ò
ÒYes,Ó Eric murmured, Òyou do. Or else we wouldnÕt be here. Just... keep walking, and donÕt think about
where youÕre going. WeÕll take
care of this.Ó
ÒTake care of what?Ó
ÒRevenge.Ó Melissa crowed. Her hands, the incredibly strong small
hands, flexed once again in front of Gwendolyn's face.
ÒI donÕt want to kill
anybody. It mightÕve been an accident.Ó
ÒI thought you were angry.Ó
Melissa said with bitterness.
ÒI thought you werenÕt happy
that you died.Ó
ÒIÕm... I wasnÕt... IÕm
not.Ó Gwen ducked behind Eric,
putting the taller man between herself and the goth. ÒWe canÕt kill anyone!Ó
ÒOh, yes we can.Ó
ÒNo, I mean- weÕre dead, we
shouldnÕt be killing anyone. And
you said I should pick people I liked.
Wait, what did you mean by that, IÕm not going to kill my friends! IÕm not going to kill anyone!Ó
Melissa was next to her-
Gwen hadnÕt seen her move. ÒNo,
youÕre not. I am.Ó
MelissaÕs shadowed eyes
seemed to grow large, filling GwenÕs vision. She... where does she get makeup here?
ÒOr I will.Ó Eric added, turning to face both of
them. ÒYou donÕt have to do
anything. And... it will be your
choice. Once we find the one
responsible. YouÕll choose to kill
him or her. I mean, have them
killed.Ó
ÒI donÕt want anyone killed!Ó
Gwen complained. ÒI just
want to end this, all of this!
WhateverÕs supposed to happen next, letÕs do that, and then-Ò
EricÕs hands gripped her
shoulders. ÒSince weÕre here, you
have to see this, too. See who
killed you. And then we can leave,
if thatÕs all you want to do.Ó
ÒWho says? Who says I have to go up there? Why canÕt we just leave now?Ó
Melissa looked bitter, and
turned away. ÒThere are some rules
you canÕt break. Just... deal with
it, and move on.Ó
Gwendolyn turned her eyes
from Eric to Melissa. SheÕs...
sad. What canÕt she break?
Her grip had felt so strong,
her body so solid, that Gwen couldnÕt imagine anything that Melissa couldnÕt
break.
ÒUpstairs.Ó Eric whispered. ÒAnd then we can go.Ó
She hung her head. ÒDo I have to?Ó
ÒYou have to.Ó His hands came up to frame her face,
fingers cupping her cheeks. Eric
drew her head up gently but firmly.
His brown eyes met hers.
ÒJust this once, this one night, thereÕs certain things you have to do.Ó
ÒAfter that, youÕre
free...Ó Melissa added in a pained
whisper. ÒAs free as we can get.Ó
Does she... regret her
choice? Was this not worth stepping
in front of that bus? Is she... Gwendolyn couldnÕt even think of the right
words. Melissa seemed so pleased
about being dead, so enthralled with the power she possessed, but then, for a
moment, there was this pain that had crept out.
ÒOkay.Ó Gwen whispered, talking mostly to
herself. ÒOne more thing, and then
we can go...Ó
She led the way up the
stairs, Melissa right next to her, acting like a bodyguard from the movies, and
Eric one step behind, his long coat fluttering around his ankles, and his hands
stretched out to either side.
He seems just as ready as
her, but in a different way.
The three went up the
stairs, and Gwen heard a baby crying, some loud TV, a lot of shouting, some
music playing, and sounds of all sorts of peopleÕs lives coming through the
thin walls and doors. She had
never been in this part of town before, didnÕt know how people lived, and
couldnÕt imagine ever wanting to come here or live in such a ratty building. And I never will, now. It canÕt be true. This has to be a dream or-
anything! It canÕt be real! Dead? I canÕt be dead, I canÕt!
She stopped at a door that
said 5C. She bit her lip, hard
enough to hurt. ÒThis is it.Ó Her fingers touched the metal numbers
on the wooden door. ÒThis... this
is where he lives...Ó
ÒHe.Ó Eric repeated, standing behind
her. ÒAll right. Melissa. ItÕs her choice.Ó
ÒChoose that he dies.Ó Melissa said, harshly. ÒChoose that he dies in pain.Ó
Gwen shot her an angry
look. ÒI donÕt want anyone dying.Ó
ÒAnyone besides you.Ó Melissa
retorted. ÒYouÕre dead.
ThatÕs really enough for one night?Ó
ÒYES!Ó Gwen screamed! ÒIt IS! IT IS!Ó She
felt herself crying. I donÕt
breathe, I donÕt beat, but I can cry?
Eric took her into his arms,
his chin resting on the top of her head.
ÒMelissa...Ó One of his
arms reached past Gwen and pushed on the door. It swung open at his touch. Gwen turned around and looked into the apartment. ÒThereÕs...two doors...Ó
Eric sighed. ÒWeÕre not in the real world. WeÕre in a spirit world, an... Eidolon-Ò
ÒWhatÕs-Ò
ÒOh, shut up and go in
there.Ó Melissa shoved Gwen
through the hazy door. Gwen shut
her eyes. It felt like passing
through a big cotton ball. When
she could feel... nothing... around her, she peeked out at the apartment. It was cheap, and lousy. Faded paint, stained carpet, and she
could see a bit of an ugly leather sofa down the hall. A TV was blaring.
Eric stepped into the hall
behind her. Gwen looked back at
him, then at the weird two doors- one semi-solid, like a door made of fog, and
one that was solid but different from the walls and ceiling and floor.
Melissa didnÕt follow
them. Gwen looked up at Eric. ÒWhereÕs Melissa...?Ó
He looked depressed. ÒShe canÕt follow us. One of... her strictures. DonÕt worry. No-one here can touch you. SheÕll come in as soon as someone opens the door. IÕll try and make that happen.Ó
ÒShe canÕt come in through
the door?Ó
He sighed, and
explained. ÒThereÕs two
doors. We can pass through one of
them- the real one. I can open the
other, the spirit door. SheÕs
blocked by the real one, even if the spirit door is open. IÕll explain all of this later. Just head into the apartment and find
the person that... feels right.Ó
Gwen wanted to go somewhere
and cry. To lie down, and stop
doing all of this until everything made sense. To go home and curl up in her bed, in her room, and have her
mom or dad come in and tuck her under the covers. To call her friends and talk on the phone. My friends!
ÒWhen can I see my
friends! When can I talk to them-
please donÕt say never!Ó
Eric winced. ÒYou... letÕs talk about that
later. I... I donÕt feel
comfortable here. ThereÕs... A lot
of death has been caused by the people who live here. It... can you do this quick, please?Ó
He sounded strained, and she
felt suddenly very guilty. He and
Melissa were helping her, and she was making this harder for them. ÒIÕm sorry.Ó Gwen moved down the hallway and into the apartment, glancing
into the kitchen and frowning at all the dirty dishes. There was a woman in there, drawn face,
and tired eyes. Gwen felt sorry
for her, too. Living with a drug
dealer couldnÕt be easy.
She turned away and moved
on, into the living room.
It felt really strange to
her to be standing in a drug dealerÕs den, looking at people filling bottles of
pills, and nobody paying any attention to her. Not even noticing her at all. There were four men in the room, all of them hispanics,
dressed in cheap and gaudy clothes, especially compared to her rave outfit- her
best dress, best jacket, best blouse, best boots... she didnÕt care what Melissa thought, she liked these
clothes and- I guess IÕm okay
with dying in them.... No IÕm not.
And there was one man, just
one of the men, not the biggest or sleaziest, just one of them that she felt
drawn to. She walked forward and
bumped into the edge of the table.
It didnÕt move- it felt solid and heavy to her. I guess thatÕs why I can climb
stairs and walk on the floor. She scuffed her feet along the
carpet. If I break something,
does it stay broken forever? Gwen wanted to ask Eric. She wanted the answers to ALL her
questions, all the questions sheÕd have about being dead- about this world,
about her purpose, her life, what kinds of enemies Melissa had been ready to
fight, and why sheÕd said Gwen wouldÕve been food if the two dead ravers hadnÕt
been there...
Ò...this is himÓ she whispered, her voice catching in
her throat. ÒEric! This is him!Ó
ÒGreat.Ó Eric sounded very pained, and she
turned to see him slumped against a wall.
ÒMake a choice, and letÕs go.Ó
She turned and ran to him,
her hand reaching out and then drawing back. ÒAre... is it okay to touch you? Are you sick? What...
is it catching?Ó
He managed a grin. ÒItÕs okay... thereÕs just something
bad about this place. Probably all
the drugs- all the... killing...Ó
ÒKilling?Ó She felt that she was breathing
quickly. Gwen tried to stop, but
she was too scared, shocked, to control her breaths.
ÒProbably. TheyÕre drug dealers. TheyÕve probably killed people. I think... you were an accident. I donÕt think... can you please just do
this...Ó He slumped against the
wall.
She moved to support him,
and Eric waved her away. ÒGo take
a long look at him, at what heÕs doing, and see if you want him to keep doing
it.Ó Getting the words out drained
him. He hoped sheÕd make this
quick, or else theyÕd have to leave and come back again.
ÒWill... we get in trouble
for killing him?Ó I donÕt want
to kill him... but... he did kill me.
Well, no he didnÕt. He
didnÕt shove the drugs down my throat.
My friends did... nearly did.
Did I... kill myself?
ÒItÕs not as easy as
that. ThereÕs... no real law,
here. Other than make friends with
powerful people, and donÕt... later, please. Right now... just make your choice.Ó
* * * * * * *
Part III
She turned away from him and
went back into the living room, looking at the man again. He seemed like a bad guy from a movie,
a white T-shirt, blue jeans, short black hair, a very cruel look on his face
even when he was just putting pills in bottles. She didnÕt like him.
HeÕd sold the drugs that killed her.
She turned away from the
man. ÒWhy is it he killed me, and not Kyle? Kyle held out the pill bottle.Ó
ÒI donÕt know.Ó Eric sat down on the floor. He was breathing heavily. She felt bad that this was taking her
so long to figure it out. She
didnÕt want him to hurt himself.
Gwen turned back to look at
the drug dealer. ÒI canÕt just say
Ôkill himÕ, right now. IÕd want to
know if he did it on purpose. If
he knew that cutting the Ex with something would kill me. Kill anyone. Then, maybe, maybe...Ó She knew she couldnÕt
do it. There was just no reason...
not even if heÕd done it on purpose, put poison in the pill. IÕm not that kind of person.
ÒLetÕs go.Ó She turned around again, turned her
back on the man, and looked at Eric who struggled to his feet. ÒI donÕt care what Melissa wants. I donÕt want anyone else dying. I want to go.Ó
He nodded, and a woman
walked out of the side hallway and stared at both of them.
ÒTwo of you?Ó She snarled, and pulled something metal
from her belt. It spun and flashed
in the light, and the woman was holding a knife. Gwen took a step back and bumped up against the table.
Eric fell backwards against
the wall. ÒOh, fuck.Ó
The woman was hispanic, like
the men. She was tall,
long-limbed, and older than any of the dead people Gwen had met- Eric looked
only in his twenties, college age, and Melissa was a teenager, like Gwen. No, sheÕs older, but she looks
young. She acts it, too. Will I be like that, looking this old
forever?
Gwen gulped as the woman
pointed with the knife. ÒWho wants
it first? You, hombre?Ó
ÒWeÕll just go. We wonÕt tell anyone. We canÕt anyway...Ó Gwen wasnÕt sure of that, but sheÕd say
anything to get out of here. SheÕd
never been in a fight before- not a real fight, anything more than pulling hair
and kicking.
ÒOr you, chica?Ó The
woman turned and pointed the knife in her direction. Gwen couldnÕt back up any more and fell onto the table. It felt solid and real to her, and the
pill cases felt solid, too. One
fell over when she sat on it, and cracked under her weight.
How do things break
here? What happens if they move?
Eric made a grab for the
womanÕs wrist. ÒGet out of
here!Ó He yelled at Gwen and
pushed the woman into the side hall.
Gwen started forward. ÒBut,
Eric-Ò
He was thrown back into the hallway. His body slammed into the wall and left cracks. Eric fell to his knees, the coat
flapping around him from the violence of the attack. ÒEric!Ó Gwen
shouted.
ÒDamnit, someone open this
door!Ó Melissa yelled from the
hall.
The woman stepped into the
hallway. ÒAnd I thought you were a
gargoyle, from that long coat you have there. What are you?Ó
She looked at the closed and open doors and smiled. ÒNo, not a gargoyle.Ó Her voice was deep, her accent
heavy. ÒDiablo? Come
here looking for a fresh meal?Ó
Eric staggered to his feet,
leaning heavily against the wall.
ÒNot saying. WeÕll leave
now.Ó
The woman grinned and
flicked the knife out. He jerked
away from it. ÒNo. I donÕt think you will.Ó
ÒEric? Gwen?Ó Melissa called out from the hallway. ÒGoddamnit, open the door, you fucking
idiots!Ó
Gwen got up and ran around
the woman, through the living room instead, and into the kitchen. One of the men stepped out of her
way. She checked herself- sheÕd
been moving to get out of his way. They did that at the... place I
died.
The woman in the kitchen
also moved out of her way and then took her place again, leaning against the
counter. Are they really moving
for me? Do people see them move?
WouldnÕt we see holes in crowds where dead people go through them? Did... I ever see this or did I ignore
it?
She had so many questions-
and even more fears.
Gwen heard a crunch from
behind her, and a shout of pain.
She ran to the door and skidded to a stop.
ÒOpen it!Ó Melissa sounded frantic, and not like
the cool, in control, goth girl she had seemed to be earlier. Gwendolyn looked at the door, and stuck
her hand out, which passed right through.
ÒDamnit, thatÕs not the
way!Ó Melissa, it had to be her,
shoved GwenÕs hand back inside the apartment.
ÒI donÕt know how!Ó Gwen
shouted, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes.
ÒFuck it, never mind, IÕm-Ò
And someone slammed into
Gwen, shoving her through the door-that-wasnÕt-there, into the hallway. She felt at least one person on top of
her. ÒOw!Ó A coat fell across her face. It had to be EricÕs. Then some of the weight was gone, and
she pulled herself out from the person lying on top of her, and rolled onto her
back to see what was going on.
Eric lay face-down on the
hallway floor. Melissa had the
woman held off the floor, in one hand, and had a savage smile on her face. The woman looked irritated- not scared. Gwen took EricÕs hand. ÒAre you okay?Ó He nodded, breathing heavily.
The woman, Gwen noticed,
wasnÕt breathing at all. Oh,
no... She hadnÕt been breathing inside the apartment, either, something Gwen just realized.
ÒWho are you?Ó The hispanic woman asked down to
MelissaÕs face.
ÒIt doesnÕt matter. You are so goddamn reaped.Ó
The woman snorted and kicked
Melissa in the stomach. Melissa
shot backwards as if out of a cannon, crashing against the far wall and
collapsing to the floor. The woman
landed lightly on her feet and flicked the knife out from behind her back. ÒYou come into my casa, and threaten my familia, and you think you can just walk out of here without
paying the price?Ó
ÒYour family killed me! With some of those drugs in there! And we werenÕt going to kill anyone! I just came here because he said I had
to!Ó Gwen didnÕt want to fight-
she wanted to leave. SheÕd done
everything that Eric had told her to, seen her body, her friends, and her
killer. Now she wanted to go away.
ÒOh, youÕre new. IÕll make it quick for you.Ó The woman vanished, and Melissa
vanished. There was a crunch, and
the building seemed to shake.
Melissa had the woman pinned against a wall. The woman struggled against the goth girlÕs grip. The knife fell from the womanÕs hand.
ÒHow old are you?Ó The woman hissed, staring into the goth
girlÕs dark-shadowed eyes.
ÒOlder than time.Ó RavenÕs Shadow replied. They vanished again and the building
shook once more. Gwen saw them
appear further down the hallway, and they vanished, appeared, vanished... each
time with a crunch and sounds of a fight that Gwen couldnÕt even see
happen. Eric got to his feet
slowly, and Gwen helped him up. He
was heavy, and she barely could lift him.
I should have worked out more when I was alive. Did
that even matter now? She had no
idea.
ÒWhat do we do?Ó She looked down the hall, where the two
women were... fighting... if you could call the eyeblinks of activity a
fight. It seemed like a fight
taking place in still-frame, they were moving so fast.
ÒAre they going to tear the
building down?Ó Each crash left
cracks in the walls, or holes in the floor. ÒHow can she break things, and not open a door?Ó
Eric laughed,
painfully. ÒI canÕt... tell you
this now...Ó He motioned toward
the stairs. ÒOutside. WeÕve got to get outside. WeÕll be...Ó
He couldnÕt say Ôsafer out
thereÕ. It wasnÕt true. But theyÕd be able to escape out there-
if he was willing to leave Melissa behind.
ÒDamn.Ó Eric looked down the hall at the blinks
of motion as the two women fought.
Gwen started to cry as she
looked down the hallway at the fight, the part she could see. ÒIÕm sorry, this is all my fault. IÕve got to help her-Ò
His hand closed on her arm
again, though his fingers were weak.
ÒThereÕs nothing you can do.
And itÕs not-Ò He
coughed. Òyour fault. Sometimes you just have to do
things. This is how-Ò He coughed again. Òit worked out tonight.Ó
ÒIÕm not leaving her.Ó Gwen said, and took a step in that
direction, was jerked to a stop.
ÒLet go of me.Ó
ÒThere is nothing you can do to help her. YouÕre too new.
YouÕre not powerful enough yet.Ó
Gwen pulled away as hard as
she could, and EricÕs fingers slipped off her arm.
ÒI never did anything with
my life...Ó Gwen said and
shuddered as the building creaked and groaned from the bodies slamming into it
with immense force and speed.
ÒThat means... IÕve got a lot of potential now!Ó
She raced down the hall, not
knowing what sheÕd do, but not willing to let someone sheÕd just met fight for
her without doing something to
help. Eric watched her go, and put
a hand to his side. It came away
with a slight whitish silver glow.
IÕm hurt... that knife must be part of her.
He went to pick it up, and
felt the power inside it. It
was masked earlier, part of her aura... but this... has real power.
Did he dare take it? If Melissa lost... the woman would be
able to trace her lost weapon. But
if she won...
He slipped it into a pocket
of his coat, and staggered after Gwendolyn, their Ônew recruitÕ.
Melissa kicked the woman in
the thigh. The blow knocked the
woman sideways down the hall, tumbling about half the length of the hallway
before she stopped herself and returned to grab MelissaÕs arm. The hispanic woman slammed Melissa back
and forth against each wall, using the arm like a lever.
The pain was
overwhelming. Damnit... Melissa
knew she was powerful. SheÕd
planned for this for years, was way more than a low stone on the pyramid of
power. She had desire, she had
potential, and she was getting her ass kicked by this hispanic bitch! She
jerked her arm out of the womanÕs clutching grasp.
How... ow... fucking old are you?
RavenÕs Shadow ran up the
wall and flipped over the other woman, settling to the ground in a flourish of
skirts and lace, and punched the woman in the small of the back. Some new dead still believed they had
weak points, kidneys, balls, throat, eyes... and even some old dead had never
managed to free themselves of their holds on mortal bodies. SheÕd been blinded a couple times
before sheÕd managed to break that habit- and her breasts were still sensitive,
enough that getting slammed face front into walls and punched in the chest was
starting to really hurt.
The woman cried out in
pain. Melissa nearly did too. The womanÕs body was as hard as stone,
or steel.
A spinning backfist whistled
over MelissaÕs head.
As she ducked, she saw
Gwendolyn standing in mid-stride, down the hall. SheÕs coming to help me?
Melissa laughed at the
sight- what could a statue do to help her?
The next attack caught her in
the shoulder, and she was twisted off balance and fell.
The hispanic woman gritted
her teeth in pain. She hated
fighting other gargoyles- the dead with nearly equal speed and strength to
hers, and were just as hard to hurt. Hitting them even hurt her just the same as punching a solid wall. Fights this hard left her
exhausted and weak. They were
almost as dangerous to win as they were to lose. ÒYou fucking bitch!Ó She screamed at her attacker, her anger filling the
hallway. ÒThis is my home,
these are my people, you canÕt just walk in here and take me on! I am Maria Biares and I was killed by Conquistadores!Ó She kicked the muerto-obsessed girl in the head,
hurting her foot, but causing the girl to cry out in pain and silvery light to
appear in the dark hair. She had
seen this type before- little girls who believed they knew death.
She was tiring, but the
other girl was almost out of energy.
Maria kicked her again, in the stomach, and smiled as the girl curled up
into a ball, coughing and racked with pain.
She brought back her foot
for another kick- and the girl uncoiled, lashing out against the only leg of
MariaÕs that was planted on the floor.
Maria shrieked in pain as a stone-like fist cracked against her shin,
and fell backwards. The girl rose
to her feet in a smooth motion.
ÒAnd IÕm Melissa Jones, and
I threw myself in front of a bus.Ó
The girl fell to her knees, her body unable to support her or lend
strength to her solemn words. She slumped
sideways against the cracked and broken wall.
Maria struggled to get up-
her leg sent pain throughout her body- and she barely managed to raise herself
on her elbows. She finally managed
to sit up, glaring at the gothic gargoyle who dared challenge her on her home
ground. Maria didnÕt see her new knife
anywhere, but that was all right.
She had an older one, too.
Melissa watched, too weak to
do any more than that, as the woman got to her knees and pulled a long obsidian
blade from behind her back. The
gothic girl gritted her teeth and strained to pull herself up again, only
managing at the last moment before the blade whistled down to pull herself even
a fraction away. It wasnÕt enough-
she watched the blade hurtle toward her chest, toward where her heart would
have been. And she hoped, prayed, that
she didnÕt believe that she still needed one.
A small hand caught the
ancient MayanÕs wrist, and stopped the plunge of the dagger.
Ò...and IÕm Gwendolyn Chase,
and I just died tonight.Ó An
expensive boot pushed the woman back down to the floor, and another stepped on
her wrist. ÒLet us go, and we
wonÕt fight you anymore.Ó
ÒYou are dead, chica. You hear me? You are dead!Ó
ÒYes, I am.Ó The tip of the boot dug into the
womanÕs wrist, and the knife clattered to the hallway floor. Maria struggled against the girlÕs
weight, but couldnÕt move her, couldnÕt get up at all.
Melissa watched, speechless
from both exhaustion and shock. She
shouldnÕt be able to do that.
SheÕs new tonight- she shouldnÕt be able to do ANY of this. The goth girl was desperately pleased to see that Gwendolyn could...
Eric stumbled along the
hallway, his wounds causing him pain, making his head swim. Was he seeing what he thought he was
seeing? Or was the light only
coming from his side and MelissaÕs head?
ÒI didnÕt want to be. Your people killed me, by giving my
friends bad drugs. I didnÕt want
to be here, I didnÕt even want to go to the rave. I didnÕt want to take the ecstasy, but I gave in and here I
am. I came here to see what I
needed to see, what Eric told me I needed to see, and I saw it, and now I want
to go.Ó
ÒIÕm going to come after
you. You and your friends. I have friends too, we will find you
and-Ò
Gwendolyn knelt, putting her
full weight on MariaÕs chest and arm.
Melissa watched as the newly dead girl held down the prone womanÕs other
arm with the teenÕs free hand.
GwenÕs other hand picked the knife up off the floor.
ÒLet us go, and leave us
alone.Ó
Melissa watched
eagerly. Not an hour old and
already sheÕs threatening a gargoyle. She knew sheÕd made the right choice-
to do what Eric wanted, and help the girl, instead of consuming her, or even
leaving her alone. If she keeps
that anger, sheÕll be one strong little bitch.
ÒNever-Ò The woman hissed, and Gwendolyn pricked
her skin with the black stone dagger.
ÒLeave us alone, or else
IÕll kill you again.Ó The girlÕs
hand didnÕt shake at all.
ÒI am Maria Biare-Ò The
womanÕs voice was a scream of anger and implied threats, before Gwen shivered
and shoved the knife deep into the gargoyleÕs chest.
MelissaÕs eyes widened! ÒAll right!Ó
Gwen watched as silver light
poured out of the woman, and the womanÕs body faded away, the stone dagger
falling to the floor and then turning into silver light that spread out to
every corner of the hall before disappearing from sight.
Gwen fell those few inches
to the floor and started to cry.
Melissa tried to push herself away from the wall and fell, only to be
caught by EricÕs hands. He knelt between
the two girls and put a hand on each of their shoulders. He looked at Melissa first, and saw the
pain in her eyes, as well as the triumph, and sighed.
He thought he also saw a
little fear. Eric turned his head
to see Gwen looking at him.
She felt tired, and sick,
and scared. Had that been what
sheÕd be in a long time? Someone
who was so stubborn, so full of hate that sheÕd rather die than surrender? That she wouldnÕt forgive an accident?
Gwen forgave the man whoÕd
cut the drugs with something, even if heÕd known it would kill. But she planned to tell the police
about that apartment as soon as she could. If she could.
If there wasnÕt a rule against it.
She saw Eric and Melissa
staring at her, and both of them barely able to move. She didnÕt feel like she could move, either, she was so
tired, so scared...
ÒEric, IÕm scared. I want to go home.Ó
His next words scared her
even more. His deep voice said
with a cold tone, ÒYou will. But
first we have to find out where that is.Ó
* * * * * * *
Part IV
The hallway stretched out in
front of the three dead people and behind them as well. This time, Eric was stumbling forward
and Melissa wasnÕt doing much better.
Gwendolyn was between them, a hand on both of their arms, fingers
tightly clutching EricÕs sleeve.
The Transition was much
rougher than before, like being blown by the wind instead of drifting. She still had the sensation of being
drawn in many directions at once- falling, flying, sinking, rising- and could not understand how Eric kept
them going on just a single route.
Finally, and to her relief, the rough passage was over and they stood in
front of a large apartment building.
ÒWeÕre not going to see the
Oracle are we?Ó Gwen asked,
remembering a movie that had a scene a little like this.
Melissa and Eric both gave
her tired, confused, looks. She
shook her head. ÒNever mind. You said I had to meet someone.Ó
Eric nodded and slowly
walked into the lobby, collapsing into one of the chairs. Melissa made her way to a couch and
fell back onto it, her skirts floating outward from her body to cover most of
the seat.
What happens if someone
sits down? When she walked, people got out of her way... but what if
she sat down in a chair, or stood still in a doorway-would she be pushed out of
the way? Would the person be
trapped until she moved out of their way... would they walk through her or
would she be sitting inside them? Gwen looked at both of her escorts, the
ones whoÕd met her when she died, and had helped her get this far. The goth girl, Melissa (who preferred
ÔRavenÕs ShadowÕ), looked half-d... tired. Very tired.
Eric was doing better, but
not by much. Gwen wanted to help-
normally, if she ran into someone whoÕd been beat up sheÕd try to get them home
to bed, or to a hospital. If she
knew them. She wasnÕt sure sheÕd
do that for a stranger, unless they were really badly hurt. I donÕt know where they live? Or... where they ÔstayÕ. I guess we donÕt ÔliveÕ anywhere. What happens if we get hurt? Do... do we ÔbleedÕ?
SheÕd killed someone, or
ÔreapedÕ them, another dead person.
A woman who was really powerful and had said she was old. SheÕd died... or whatever it was... all
at once, silver light spilling out of the womanÕs chest, and then her whole
body turned into light and faded away.
The dagger sheÕd used had been the womanÕs own, and it had disappeared
with the woman.
Silver light had been
shining from MelissaÕs head where the woman had kicked her, and from EricÕs
side.
That was a lot like
blood. Both of them were still
glowing from places, although a lot less now. Is that good?
They donÕt seem too scared, just tired.
Ò...are you two... going to
be okay?Ó Gwen asked, looking from
Eric to Melissa.
Melissa rolled her
eyes. ÒOnce youÕre dead, you donÕt
really worry any more. You better get used to that.Ó
Gwen frowned. She was just dead, only an hour at most. She still worried, and she was worried for them. ÒYou
could be a little nicer to me... I
did just save your life.Ó
ÒWho saved who?Ó Melissa asked, irritation creeping into her voice. ÒI think I saved you from that crazy
Aztec bitch.Ó
ÒI guess so... thank
you.Ó Gwen admitted. She slumped into a chair and looked
around the lobby- there werenÕt many people here, just the night staff, and the
restaurant and bar were both closed and the doors shut tight. ÒIs this... where IÕm supposed to be?Ó
Eric shook his head. ÒJust resting.Ó He sounded like he needed it. Eric felt very tired right now, and was
glad that he could rest in a chair.
He really needed a bed, somewhere to lie down. And he knew that Melissa would deny it, but she was hurting
worse than he was- sheÕd suffered a lot more at the hands of the gargoyle who
called herself Maria Biares. IÕve
never heard of her, but she seemed like she was sure of herself and that she
could call on friends to help her...
He looked over at Gwendolyn,
her fingers clutched around her knees, leaning forward and staring at the
floor. SheÕs been through a
lot. ThatÕs the way it happens for
everyone...
His own experience had been
very different. He wished things
had worked out some other way. But
at least he was here today, had been through... a kind of ÔlifeÕ, although not
the same as these two girls, or anyone else in his ally group. ÒGwen... weÕll get going again in a little bit. And then weÕll head for our home- the
place we stay.Ó
Melissa made a sound he knew
as disgust. She had another place
to stay, one that suited her more, but right now he doubted that sheÕd be any
safer or better off there than with him and his group. ÒMelissa...Ó
ÒIÕll stay with you,Ó she
sounded put-upon and bored, Òlong enough to get this girl up to speed.Ó
She turned her head towards the new girl. ÒDonÕt take too long.Ó
Gwen glanced up and looked
puzzled, then nodded slowly.
Eric got to his feet- he was
feeling a little better. One of the
drawbacks of being dead was being able to suffer an extensive amount of damage
and pain. More so in his case than
many others. The only advantage
was that there were never any lingering weaknesses- you either healed fully, or
not at all. But sometimes it was a
slow process, one that left you weak enough to be reaped by someone else. ThatÕs why he travelled with others,
and why they travelled with him.
Transition was a quick escape...
Gwen got up and offered her
hand to Melissa who ignored it and got to her feet on her own.
Eric led the two girls to
the stairs and down into the basement parking garage, opening the spiritual
doors as he went, and walking right through the physical worldÕs doors as if
they werenÕt even there. For him
and the other dead, the physical doors only blocked sight, not passage.
Gwen jerked her head around
as Melissa followed them through the doors. ÒBut... how... you...Ó
She stammered the words.
TheyÕd said Melissa couldnÕt go through real-world doors.
ÒLater.Ó
Melissa said with aggravation.
Gwen held her questions.
She had a lot of them, and wanted to get all ÔthisÕ over with and end up
somewhere they could talk and tell her exactly what was going on, what to
expect, and when she could talk to her family and friends. Eric had hinted that it was possible,
but also had avoided the question when she tried to bring it up again.
The parking garage was dark
and cold, even chilly. Why is
it cold if IÕm dead? Gwen hadnÕt felt cold outside the
warehouse where sheÕd died, or warm inside the drug dealerÕs apartment. If itÕs cold here, where is it warm? She had
a sudden image of where it might be warm and hoped she wouldnÕt find out.
Gwen tugged her jacket close
around herself, and buttoned it up.
She couldnÕt do anything about her skirt. The goth, if she felt the chill, said nothing. Not that her silence was surprising-
Gwen already realized that Melissa hated to show weakness of any kind, even
discomfort. Her head had stopped
glowing, and Gwen thought Melissa looked a little more assured without the
obvious sign of a wound.
That had to be what it
was. Glowing silver instead of
dripping blood.
ÒWhere are we going?Ó Gwen whispered as Eric led the way
slowly past rows of cars.
ÒYour last... chore, for the
day.Ó He replied, and pointed
toward a very dark corner. ÒThis
is a nexus, a place where new souls gather.Ó
Gwen looked around. ÒThen
where are they?Ó
ÒNot that many people die
in this city every day.Ó Eric pointed out. ÒNow if you lived in LA or New York...Ó
ÒThereÕs more than one nexus
of souls.Ó Melissa added with a little laugh. ÒAnd... some of the new dead donÕt even make it this far.Ó
Gwen winced. SheÕs said that before. The goth girl kept mentioning things and then not explaining them. But
sheÕd stuck around, protected her, and even gave her advice. Though not in a very nice way.
That meant something- Gwen
hoped it was that Melissa liked her and wanted to help her. Eric seemed like a very
nice...dead...guy. He put up with
Melissa, and for some reason, Melissa had done pretty much what heÕd said so
far. Maybe sheÕd figure all this
out once she got finished with whatever came next.
ÒSo... what are we
doing?Ó She asked hesitantly.
Melissa answered her as they
kept walking toward the dark corner they called the Ônexus of soulsÕ. ÒWeÕre finding out what type of dead
you are. I donÕt think itÕs
gargoyle. Though you were pretty
good at the very end there...Ó She
licked her black-glossed lips and her dark shadowed eyes turned on
Gwendolyn. The gothÕs face seemed
filled with delight. ÒMaybe youÕre
a devil.Ó
Eric made a noise of
disagreement.
ÒShe could be.Ó
Melissa added and forcefully strode forward- for a couple steps, then
her legs faltered and Gwen dashed to support her. Melissa fell against her and sighed. ÒNo, weÕre not that lucky.Ó
ÒWhat different types are
there?Ó Gwen asked. Her mind was still whirling, everything
seemed like a dream. She didnÕt know
why she wasnÕt screaming or crying or running for home right now. It all seemed unreal, and maybe that
was why she hadnÕt broken down in hysterics yet.
ÒOh, god.Ó
Melissa groaned. ÒI think
once we get you to EricÕs place, IÕm going to leave.Ó
ÒWhat?Ó Gwen gasped. ÒLeave me?Ó
ÒI canÕt deal with
this. You donÕt know anything.Ó
ÒHardly anyone ever
does.Ó Eric interjected with a
firm tone. ÒBe kind to Gwen. You didnÕt know everything coming in,
either.Ó
ÒI knew enough. Enough
to know not to act wide-eyed and ignorant.Ó Melissa said in a grating voice, and her meaningful glance was
not lost on Gwen.
ÒWell... you two know me
already. I guess... IÕll be quiet
if anyone else is around...Ó Gwen
frowned. Another rule to follow. Why do we have to be so
defensive? I didnÕt have to
protect myself like this in high school.
I was ignored, but I wasnÕt picked on... this is like cliques all over again.
Eric stopped and looked into
the darkness. ÒWeÕre here. Now, you walk ahead of us. WeÕll be here behind you.Ó
ÒWhat... what happens
here? Do I meet someone?Ó
ÒSort of...Ó EricÕs hands went into his pockets, his
foot scraped across the parking garage floor. ÒYouÕll... see yourself. The strongest aspect of you, and youÕll know what you are when
you see it...Ó
ÒIt? It isnÕt me?Ó
ÒItÕs... it is and isnÕt.Ó
ÒCan I talk to... me?Ó
Melissa sighed and pushed
her, like she had shoved Gwen through the apartment door, but her arms were a
lot weaker than before. Gwen hoped
Melissa would be okay. And that
nobody would try to hurt any of them before Melissa and Eric had recovered...
and before she felt ready to be part of this world, and not just some scared
and helpless victim. Gwen stumbled
a couple steps forward and then took tiny little steps further forward on her
own. IÕm going to try to talk
to me... find out more about all this.
About what IÕm supposed to do now.
Anything I get a chance to ask... anything that...ÕIÕ will answer...
* * * * * * * * * *
Part V
She felt lost in the
darkness. Lost, alone, afraid, and
cold. She wished sheÕd died in a
longer skirt.
ÒHello?Ó Gwen felt very timid and stopped taking
any steps forward. She looked over
her shoulder and couldnÕt see Eric or Melissa. She gnawed on her lip, hard enough to hurt. I still canÕt believe that if IÕm
dead, IÕd feel pain... or cold...
will I get hungry? Will I sleep?
Yes, she had a lot of
questions for herself- or whoever showed up.
ÒHello.Ó The voice was very quiet and
gentle. GwenÕs head jerked around
and she winced and brought a hand up to massage her neck. Her fingers stopped moving after a moment
as she lost her thoughts and stood stunned.
The Gwendolyn she saw nodded
at her.
Gwen looked at herself,
shining within the darkness, and felt like she wanted to cry. ThatÕs not me at all. She
backed away a step, confronted with herself, and afraid- the sight of herself
like this cut through the stupor sheÕd felt since sheÕd found herself in the
alley... and then seen her own dead body.
ÒDonÕt be afraid.Ó Gwendolyn moved closer to her, a couple
slow steps, and smiled sweetly.
ÒYou, more than anyone, must not be afraid.Ó
ÒWhy not? IÕm in a new world. IÕve lost all my friends, my mom and
dad... and thereÕs all these rules I donÕt know, and... I can die again.Ó
The other Gwen stepped
closer to her, and reached up and touched her hair. ÒThere is a lot to fear. But you must never be afraid. Others will count on you.Ó
ÒOn me?Ó Gwen
whined, her eyes frantic. ÒBut- I
donÕt-Ò
ÒYou have already made two
friends. You will make more.Ó The other girl vanished, turned
into silver light from her head down to her feet and up along her outstretched
arm. Her hand was the very last piece of her to disappear, and Gwen stumbled
back into EricÕs arms.
ÒWhat did you see?Ó Melissa asked from right near her
shoulder, breathless with anticipation.
Or just breathless, period.
ÒI saw myself...Ó
ÒWell, I know that.Ó
Melissa uttered a hiss of irritation. ÒWhat do you think?
How did you see yourself?
What kind of person were you?Ó
ÒI... I donÕt know. Nice?Ó Gwen looked over her shoulder at MelissaÕs face. She shrunk away from the angry glare
she got in return. EricÕs arm
clutched around her protectively.
Gwen craned her neck up and looked at him. He seemed thoughtful.
ÒNice... real nice?Ó Eric probed. ÒLike... a teacher, a mother?Ó
Gwen pursed her lips. Ò...maybe?Ó
ÒA Guide.Ó His voice was almost reverent, and his
arm clutched her even tighter.
Melissa shook her head. No, thereÕs no way this know-nothing
is a guide. The goth didnÕt believe it. A guide was someone with an
understanding of how things worked- not just blind compassion. Compassion was a weakness. A guide was a defender, someone to
trust. There is no way IÕm
going to trust my ÔlifeÕ or anyoneÕs to this first nighter. Eric canÕt believe that, can he?
She looked at EricÕs face
and felt a deep well of depression swallowing her up. Yes, he does.
RavenÕs Shadow thought she
knew why- and she happened to be right.
Eric wanted a Guide. As
much as he tried to fulfill that purpose, heÕd never actually be one.
When Eric looked down on
this new girl, he saw someone who needed him. She
had a long way to go before sheÕd be ready to help anyone else into this
life. I have to protect her,
give back what... they gave me. It wasnÕt just for his peace of mind, or only to help
other people, he also knew that his group would be enhanced a lot by having
her. While guides werenÕt the cap
of the pyramid, or even particularly high up there, they had special... and
very rare... powers in this world.
Eric hoped sheÕd stay.
He looked at Melissa and saw
her expression of disgust, which brought a sigh to his lips. ÒLetÕs go.Ó He took MelissaÕs hand, and GwendolynÕs, and started to walk
across the garage.
Gwendolyn saw the cars and
pillars seem to stretch out toward infinity and then everything went dark and
they were in Transition again. How
many times can he do this? HeÕs so
tired... are we safe? She looked over at Melissa, who didnÕt
seem concerned at all. Not that
seeing the gothÕs expression helped much.
She didnÕt think Melissa would ever look worried if she thought someone
was watching.
But she sounded worried
at the apartment. When she
couldnÕt get in to help. Was that
because Eric was in danger? Or because
I was... or just because she couldnÕt join the fight?
ÒWhere are we going?Ó Gwen whispered across EricÕs body to
Melissa.
The goth smirked. ÒA place in this city of the dead that
some of us call home.Ó Gwendolyn
winced- she didnÕt want to live anywhere the goth girl called home. I want to live in MY home. In my room, my bed...
...my family... She felt ready to cry again.
...my friends...
They appeared in a
hallway. It seemed nice, and
clean, and not at all like a place the goth would live. Eric stumbled a little, and Melissa
immediately supported him. ÒWe need
to get inside.Ó
Gwendolyn looked up and down
the hall, feeling panicked. She
didnÕt dare ask questions right now, with Eric looking weak and Melissa always
angry at having to hear more questions.
But she was scared again- was this a place that wasnÕt safe? Was this near someone elseÕs... ÔturfÕ?
Were they squatting in
someone elseÕs home? Where did the dead call their home?
Melissa and Eric slowly made
their way to a door, and Eric pushed part of it open, leaving another hazy
ÔrealÕ door in the doorway.
Gwendolyn followed them, and stepped through the foggy half-solid
presence. She wasnÕt getting used
to this at all, but she knew what to expect now. Like walking through something soft, that parted all around
you and then filled in again. Not
like mud or water, though, something else...
Something IÕve never felt
before.
Eric pushed the door shut
behind her.
ÒCan anyone do that?Ó She asked as the goth helped him into a
very large room. It looked like
a... like another hotel room. A
suite. A big suite. One that took up maybe half her own
house, the whole downstairs. Gwen
stopped and stared all around her at the place where Eric had brought her and
Melissa. There wasnÕt any signs of
life. No clutter, nothing laying
out, nothing out of place.
ÒIf I let them.Ó The tall man answered. ÒOtherwise, they have to be like
me.Ó Melissa helped him lay down
on the couch. ÒHey, meh... RavenÕs Shadow, could you see if anyone
else is here?Ó
The goth nodded, and glanced
at Gwen, and then looked quickly to Eric.
Gwen got the hint and went and sat down on the floor next to him. I think sheÕs in love with him... Once
Gwen had moved, Melissa left the room.
Eric sighed gratefully as he
pulled a small brown pillow under his head. Gwen saw a hazy pillow stay where heÕd pulled his from. ÒDoesnÕt that get weird?Ó
EricÕs eyes were
closed. He didnÕt want to open
them again tonight- at least until his side stopped hurting. ÒWhat?Ó He didnÕt want to talk, either, but he owed her. And he wanted her to want to stay around, join his group. Feel at home here. With us... with me.
ÒHaving... two of everything.
How do we move stuff? How
do we even open doors and... when does all this make sense...?Ó She sounded depressed. He rolled onto his right side and
looked at her. Eric knew Melissa
had put him down on the sofa with his feet and head facing the correct
direction so that he could roll onto his side to look out across the room or to
get up. Even now, he still didnÕt
know whether that was because she was thoughtful, or just because she was
paranoid and always ready for action.
ÒIt always made sense to
me...Ó He murmured, and regretted
saying it. ÒYou... just get used
to it, after a while.Ó
ÒI donÕt want to.Ó She moaned and he felt her slowly rest
her weight against the couch. His
hand found her hair, and stroked gently.
ÒIÕm sorry. There was nothing we could do.Ó
ÒCan we stop people from dying?Ó
ÒWell... yes, but for drugs,
not-Ò he sighed and changed what heÕd been about to say, finishing in a rush
Ò-only if weÕd stopped you from taking the pill.Ó He felt her tremble underneath her fingers.
ÒI want to see my
friends. I want to see my mom and
dad.Ó Her voice was very weak and
shaky now. Eric felt horrible about
what had happened to her. But what
she was going through was in no way new.
ÒThatÕs not...easy to
do. ItÕs not easy to touch
someone, or talk to them, or make something happen in that world...Ó Eric began, slowly, testing each word
in his mind before he spoke them.
HeÕd had this conversation before, and each time it was a little bit
different. There was no good way
to have a ÔstockÕ explanation ready... no way that he knew, anyhow. Maybe sheÕd... find it, if she really
was a Guide.
Having one speech, just one,
that covered everything and in a way everyone could accept would make times
like this a lot easier.
ÒBut we can stop people from dying? We can save peopleÕs lives?Ó
Eric forced open his eyes
and turned his head. She was
kneeling, staring at him with an almost painful intensity. He nodded, slowly. ÒYes, but only as a living person
would, and itÕs never easy.Ó
ÒI donÕt care if itÕs easy. I
donÕt want to see anyone die- and I donÕt want to kill anyone ever again!Ó
ÒYou didnÕt-Ò Eric began. Gwendolyn cut him off, rising off her heels, her hands
clutching his coat.
ÒI did! I just killed someone!Ó
Gwen cried, and her hands clenched folds of EricÕs trenchcoat.
ÒNo, you didnÕt... She was
already dead...Ó
ÒDonÕt give me that!Ó
Eric winced and nodded. ÒIÕm sorry. Yeah, you reaped someone.Ó
ÒReaped her?Ó
He looked embarrassed. ÒItÕs the newest word. ItÕs such a punk culture. Finished her. Ended her.
Whatever you want to call it... you stopped her existence in this
world. And it was a good thing
too.Ó
ÒShe was just protecting her
people, her family...Ó
Eric laughed, and then
winced and one hand went to his wounded side. ÒAnd when you said weÕd just leave... did she let us go?Ó
Gwen shook her head, feeling
horrible- that there was no way out of this conversation that didnÕt end up
with her having done the right thing.
ÒAnd who was her family,
that she said she wanted to protect?Ó
ÒDrug dealers...Ó Gwen hated this, hated herself, hated
the new world sheÕd been forced into.
ÒAnd she was a murderer, I
could feel it. All the pain, or
most of it, was from her. SheÕd
killed a lot of people, on this side, and the other. If you hadnÕt done it, Melissa would have... or she would
have killed Melissa, and then you, and then me.Ó
Ò...okay...Ó Gwen started to cry. ÒOkay, I killed her, and it was the
right thing to do.Ó
He lifted her up, laid her
partly across his chest, and wrapped a fold of his coat over her. ÒYeah, it was.Ó SheÕs had a rough night. Well, itÕs rough for everyone... young
or old. SheÕd been through more than some, less than most.
But- sheÕd survived. Not only survived, sheÕd forced down a
gargoyle, even a wounded and weakened one, and reaped her. To protect people sheÕd just met... and
had little reason to actually trust.
We found a real pure soul
tonight. He felt good about that. And hoped she was still pure. As far as he knew, purity wasnÕt set by outside influence,
but by the choices people made and how it affected them inside. Was Gwen still the same person sheÕd
been when she died? No. Did she still have the same purity in
her spirit? He hoped so...
SheÕs going to need to
keep holding on to that part of her soul... and someday learn how to fight and
reap the dead. There wasnÕt any way around that
fact. Unless you managed to hide
somewhere in the hills, eventually there was no way to avoid the dead and those
other things that preyed on weak
and fearful new souls. The land of
the dead was more dangerous than the land of the living, or so other people
said.
He only understood that
because he could see the world of living people, and compare theirs to his
own. Eric had only been there for
a short, short time. Not enough to
compare the two. He knew this
world, and this world only, and was very familiar with its rules. Because I was lucky enough to have a
Guide.
Gwen cried on EricÕs chest,
her eyes closed and tears welling up at the corners, dripping onto his
shirt. He felt her shudder, and
tried to hold her tighter, but it was such an effort to even sit up a little that
he couldnÕt do much for her right now.
Why isnÕt Melissa back yet? He hoped there hadnÕt been someone
lying in wait. The door hadnÕt
felt ÔforcedÕ when heÕd opened it earlier. He wished he was a gargoyle, and this was his haunt, then he
would have known if anyone or anything had been here when he entered.
I wish MelissaÕs haunt
wasnÕt so barren. This hotel would
have been perfect.
Gargoyles didnÕt choose
their haunts, exactly. They
haunted places that were important to them when they were alive- and while
Melissa had known some of what she was getting into, she hadnÕt known enough of
what she was going to become to choose a particular place to really spend time
in or care for when she was alive. Too bad for all of us. But it
wasnÕt the end of this world...
He laid there for a while,
letting her cry, hoping that Melissa had just fallen asleep somewhere in the
suite, or was sitting and talking to one of the others in his group. Maybe even getting taken care of- not
that he expected her to ever admit she needed aid or that sheÕd accept a
helping hand. ((But it was a nice
dream he had once in a while, that the fifteen year old first nighter heÕd run
into had grown up some on this side of the two worlds.))
* * * * * * * * *
Part VI
Eric gently stroked GwenÕs
hair, feeling the strands of brown slide beneath his fingers. SheÕd been beautiful when she died, a
beauty that came from inside. A
beauty that nobody could have seen while she was alive. I hope sheÕs ready to leave that
life behind. Everyone has to. ItÕs just the way it is.
Would she want to start a
new life, with him... and his allies?
Would she even consider that?
He called this living, it was the only life heÕd known. But she had grown up on that side of
death. Like almost everyone else,
she had different hopes and dreams.
Different goals and values.
Almost none of which applied to this world. It was sad that the dead best suited for this world were
killers in life.
It didnÕt say much for the
hope that this life could be better than earthly living.
But there were so many
things better here than there... and all you had to do was make it past your
first few days, and surviving here became a lot more sure.
He heard a key turn in the
lock of the front door.
Immediately, he began to sit up.
Gwendolyn shifted and looked up at his worried face. Eric sensed the
keys heÕd made, finding each of them.
Three were at the front door, and he relaxed, lying back down. ÒItÕs okay.Ó He wasnÕt sure of that, but he said it anyway, to calm her down. If it was okay, she didnÕt need to be
panicked again, this soon after her death. If it wasnÕt okay, if the keys had all been stripped from
his friends, then Eric and Gwen would be soon to follow, and it wouldnÕt matter
if she was calm or scared. He
didnÕt have enough strength left to Transition to any other place. Not yet.
The door opened and he heard
some laughing and talking. Eric
nodded and smiled. He recognized
his friendsÕ voices. ÒI know
them. ItÕs okay, theyÕre friends.Ó
ÒHey, whoÕre you talking
to?Ó A blond man walked into the
main room of the suite, and stopped still. His eyes found Gwendolyn and he smiled warmly to her. ÒHi.Ó
The door clicked shut out in
the front hall, and two more people entered the room to stand next to him.
Gwen looked at each of them
in turn, as Eric waved a hand feebly to introduce them as he said their names-
the blond man, Ryan, the woman, Ivy, and the other man, Tom. Gwen smiled weakly and nodded, but
stayed right next to his side- not scared of his friends, but not sure about
them, either.
The blond nodded, and took
off his leather jacket. He was
dressed in a very punk outfit, with some chains and spikes, and blue jeans, and
boots. The jacket was tossed over
a chair, and a very fit body was revealed. If Gwen hadnÕt been so overwhelmed by the evening, she would
have been appreciative of the sight.
ÒHi.Ó Ryan repeated. ÒYou meet Eric at the rave?Ó
She swallowed, and nodded,
tears starting to well up again in the corners of her eyes.
ÒHoly christ, Eric!Ó The young woman standing between the
two guys exclaimed, suddenly. ÒYouÕve been hurt!Ó She looked around the hotel suite. ÒWhereÕs Melissa?
Did she come back with you?Ó
The other guy sighed, and
settled into a chair. ÒWhy canÕt
we meet any women who arenÕt bi?Ó
Gwen was shocked that heÕd say something like that so openly. It hit her suddenly that she was the
youngest person in the room by far.
Even if he wasnÕt any older than he looked, the man in the football
jacket and tan pants couldnÕt be any younger than his mid-twenties.
Ivy laughed, and looked at
Gwen for a moment with a questioning stare. Gwen gulped and shook her head. No way, not me, IÕve never done that!
The woman turned to look at
the three men as she walked in the direction of the room Eric pointed to and
tossed off a sweet smile. ÒOh,
come on, guys, you love it. Two
gorgeous girls who sleep with each other and you...Ó
She blew them a kiss and shut the bedroom door.
ÒYeah, I guess so.Ó Tom started taking off his football jacket
and, like Ryan, tossed it over the back of a chair. He wandered off toward the balcony, and Gwen lost track of
him as he moved out of sight.
ÒI donÕt think MelissaÕs
going to be ready for that tonight.Ó
Eric said quietly to the closed door.
ÒWhat happened?Ó Ryan settled into a chair across the
coffee table from Eric and Gwen.
Eric looked to Gwen for
permission. She was watching the
new person, still scared of anyone she didnÕt know- even if they were friends
of the two... dead people... whoÕd met her tonight. His fingers drifted across her cheek in a gentle
caress. She blinked and quickly
looked up at him. ÒWhat?Ó
ÒCan I... tell him
everything?Ó
ÒIs there a rule that you
have to ask my permission?Ó She
wasnÕt really curious now, she was tired, she wanted to go home and go to
sleep. Home... what... would I
find there? There wonÕt be anyone
in my bed. Not even me.
ÒNo.Ó Eric shook his head, but kept his eyes
fixed on her. ÒItÕs your
story. I donÕt know what you want
us to say.Ó Gwen thought about
that but finally just shrugged.
Ò...whatever...Ó She
murmured, and laid her head back down again. ÒI just want to go home.Ó
His hand hovered near her
hair for a moment but dropped down to the sofa cushions without touching
her. Eric looked across the table
to Ryan. Ryan mouthed a question,
which Eric was able to answer in one word. ÒTonight.Ó
Ryan winced and leaned back
into the chair. ÒYeah, I need to
hear this. Who youÕd run into that
could take Melissa on? Was it
before or after her?Ó
ÒAfter. We... met Gwen at the rave. Helped her finish her first night, and
found her killer.Ó Eric was torn-
he didnÕt want to make the teen suffer through the retelling of her story, but
he didnÕt want her out of his sight, either. If she managed to get outside, theyÕd lose her in the city,
and might never see her again.
ÒDo you want to go out on
the balcony with Tom?Ó He asked
Gwen. She shook her head and
stayed on the floor next to the couch.
Ryan met EricÕs eyes and saw that the group had adopted another
firstnighter. He nodded and gave
Eric a quick thumbs-up. YouÕve
got my blessing, man. ItÕs cool.
Eric didnÕt have much
strength left to do more than give a brief account of the evening. Ryan took special interest in a
four-or-five hundred year old Aztec woman who hung out in the puerto rican
section of town. Never heard of
her before. Either sheÕs done a
good job hiding or she just got here.
I wonder whoÕs going to be after us now. He
didnÕt mind much. There wasnÕt
much he would have done differently, if heÕd been there. The first night was the worst. The week or two after that wasnÕt much
better. HeÕd had a rough time
getting adjusted to life after death, the crazy world heÕd entered instead of
Heaven or Hell.
Everyone else deserved that
chance, too. He was glad Eric and
Melissa had been there, and even if theyÕd brought the group an enemy, heÕd
have made the same call, too. And
she was the one to reap Maria. He believed it. Even now, he could see that she was
sticking right to the wounded EricÕs side. That was another point in her favor. Ryan liked her already.
ÒSo what is she?Ó Ryan asked Eric. Before the other man could answer, Ryan
apologized to Gwen. ÒSorry. YouÕre right here.Ó He waved in her direction. ÒWhat are you? What did you see?Ó
Gwen propped her head on her
hand, and looked across the room to the blond man. She stayed silent, long enough that Ryan felt edgy, and
almost ashamed for asking that universal question.
ÒI saw...Ó Gwen paused, again for quite a
while. ÒI saw myself wearing my
favorite dress. And I was...
nice. I didnÕt say much, but-Ò
ÒWhoa.Ó Ryan sat forward, very attentive. ÒSay? You said something?Ó
Eric struggled to sit
up. ÒYou didnÕt tell us you talked to yourself.Ó
ÒWhy? All she said was that it was good IÕd
made some friends, and that I needed to be brave, because a lot of people were
going to be depending on me...Ó
GwenÕs voice trailed off as she saw the looks on their faces. They donÕt talk? I asked!
ÒI asked if I could talk to
whoever I met, and you said-Ò They
hadnÕt said anything. Melissa had
just shoved her into the darkness.
Oh. Oh! ÒYou mean they donÕt talk?Ó
ÒIÕve never heard of
it.Ó Ryan said, peering at
her. She looked over to Eric, who
immediately nodded agreement.
ÒYeah,Ó Eric added, ÒIÕve
been here... a long time. And IÕve
never heard of any aspect actually talking to the new soul.Ó
Ò...oh...Ó Gwen swallowed. IÕm nothing special. I just took some bad drugs. I donÕt want to be special.
ÒI donÕt want to be
special,Ó she whispered, ÒI just want to go home.Ó
ÒYeah...Ó Ryan tapped his fingers on the armrest
of the chair. ÒEric, how much have
you told her?Ó
ÒWe just got here.
I havenÕt had time to tell her anything yet. You know how Melissa is...Ó Ryan smirked and nodded. Eric continued.
ÒIÕm too tired. I barely have
anything left. WeÕre lucky we got
here. That woman was... very
powerful. Probably very old.Ó
Ryan glanced toward the
door. ÒGuess IÕm staying up. Should I tell her the rules?Ó
ÒPlease.Ó Eric lay back down. ÒIÕll try to stay awake. Gwen, RyanÕs a good guy. You can trust him.Ó
Gwen found his hand and
squeezed it tightly. He feels
warm. Not hot, but warmer than the
room. I want to know everything...
itÕs so... strange here. ÒOkay.Ó
She whispered, and felt him squeeze her hand.
ÒRyan, IÕm Gwen. Can I ask you questions?Ó Her voice cracked, and she felt like
she was going to start crying again in just a second.
ÒSure.Ó
ÒCan I go home?Ó
To Be Continued